UPDATE!

Ok...so I've been MIA on here but a lot has been going on!  

1.  I'm going to stay at my job!  I need to just tough it out especially in this economy and they are giving me more to do and there are more younger people now.  Plus I really do like this area.

2.  I joined e-harmony! lol!  I decided if I am going to stay here, I want to start dating.  I am not a big fan of having to go on the internet because who knows what kind of weirdos I am going to find but I figure it beats meeting guys at the bar when my judgement is way impaired and they are just looking for a piece of action.  Plus, I feel like this is a good way to feel a guy out before committing a whole night to them which will save my time! 

3.  I'm still working on my friend from High School, Kate, to move in with me.  I think she would love this area and we would have so much fun together.

4.  My roommates bought a house and will most likely be moving out in a month.  Plus the lady living below me on the other side of the duplex will be moving out by Jan 1st which means I'm going to be all alone in this huge house!  You would think it would be great but I'm not ready to keep up a 5 bedroom house on the corner...meaning I have to take care of snow removal for the whole corner!  I don't think my rent is going to go up but my chore list definitely will.

5.  I decided since I'm not going back to school and will continue to have cash flow coming in, I should upgrade my car.  I just got my 2001 Camry this spring but I feel like I need something that isn't so vanilla and a little more sporty with a sunroof.  So I spent about a week hooked on car shopping then my dad brought me back to realit

y and made me realize right now isn't the right time.  With winter coming and me having no garage or car port, it would just sit outside in the snow and salt.  In the spring, I will get my new car (ok not new but nearly new, maybe a Mazda3!)

6.  This weekend I'm flying to Milwaukee to stand in my cousin wedding.  Yesterday she told me I'm standing with her friend who is extremely gay and has braces on his bottom teeth!  I'm so excited!  It will be so much fun!

7.  I got my braces tightened this week...not so fun!  But I did find out only 3 more tightenings and these suckers are off!  I think I'm looking at 6 m

ore months top! YAY!

8.  I made this amazing chocolate cherry cake with homemade buttercream and whipped cream frosting for my roommates birthday!  It was yummy!

One extra large glass of wine and a new job please!

Today I got the pleasure of sitting through a whole day of Spindle Analysis Training!  Oh yes, you heard right!  I spent my entire day learning how to take measurements of a rotating shaft!  And the fun continues again all day tomorrow!  Seriously, I don't know what is worse, having to learn this crap or the thought of eventually having to actually use it.  To make it worse, I had to take this course with 15 other men.  I say men because I was the only one under the age of 38 attending this training and the only female.  Usually, I can hold my own but quite frankly, I'm getting sick of it!  I just don't feel like pretending to care anymore.  Some of the guys and I were talking afterwards and they were saying how lucky and fortunately I am to get this kind of training so early on in my career.  They are all super nerds and I do not want to end up like any of them.  All I could think of is if this is the beginning of doing crap like this, it needs to end NOW.   I did not wake up this morning and think to myself, if only I could learn more about how to measure spindles, my life would be complete!   Sorry to always having to go on and on about the job thing but its hard when you really don't have anyone to talk to it about.  I guess that is what happens when you work with all guys!

On a happier note, I am going to pour myself a giant glass of wine, bake a yummy cake for my roommates b-day and then watch project runway! : )

no more boys...

Well no more boys for a little while at least!  

After spending the last week looking for at least a crush, I've got nothing!  It isn't that I want to date right now but I at least need some eye candy or something!  There isn't even a cute guy at the gym to crush on for a bit!  Because of all of this, I decided to agree w/ my gyno yesterday when she suggested that that I go off of the pill for a bit.  I've been getting really bad migraines lately and she said the only way to really know what is causing them is to get off the pill for a bit.  I decided this shouldn't be a problem since I need some time for me and should not be dating/with any guy for sometime.   I am a little nervous for a few reason.  a)  I really don't want to gain weight!  Maybe somehow the opposite will happen or I would just be happy staying where I'm at.  b) I get acne!  I read some reviews from people that said their acne came back when they went off the pill.  But this would actually help with c) I somehow meet the man of my dreams and can't keep myself off him!  Like I said before, this probably won't happen if b. occurs!

Also, I've noticed since I've been single, I've become a huge fan of teenage TV shows like Gossip Girl, Privileged and 90210!  I haven't forgotten about Project Runway and Grey's Anatomy but somehow I've just got sucked in!  

thinking out loud....

First off, thanks to everyone for the advice about the job. I am really thinking that going back to school is not the answer. At least not going to school where I am paying for it all. I think I would be much better off to go with a company backing me. Not sure if this is a possibility with the company I’m at now. I know they would definitely pay for me to go get a higher degree in engineering but not sure how they would feel about me changing careers on their expense. Plus, I think I’m better off staying with a full time job as long as the economy is the way it is. I am still going to take the GRE Nov 15th. Not looking forward to studying but still want that as an option if I need it. Yesterday was hard because went to an assembly expo in Chicago for the night and went with another guy who just started and two supervisors in our group (not my direct supervisor though). These are the two cool younger one so I felt a little more at ease but it was still hard because the question of if I am liking what I am doing came up a few times. I hate this question because I would just love to say how I really feel but I don’t think that is an option right now if I want to keep my job. Plus the question came up if I thought about more school came up. I was honest and said probably not to further my engineering but maybe more business. I also explained how I think I am better at more project management and not so much technical but I was kind of fumbling my words. I thought this was somewhat honest. Also, I don’t think they were aware that Drew and I broke up which I am sure will come as a relief for them since now they don’t have to worry about me leaving because of that. I really think this might open up the door to me getting to travel a little more too. One of the supervisors (he was actually my supervisor as an intern) asked me if I would like to do more work like Brandon (the other one that started with me). He does more project management and went to Japan last week. I expressed interest in this so we’ll see how that works out. I also set up a meeting with a lady here at Corning who started off as a civil engineer and moved to HR. I talked to her before back in April but then my priority was moving closer to Drew and going in a totally different direction. Now I would like to talk to her to see what kind of opportunities I could have here at Corning. She is really great to talk to and has a good network so we’ll see where that takes me. Also, there is one other person I am going to talk to who is a project manager but highly involved in orientation and stuff like that. He is actually the one who got me started with recruiting and orientation and sees more of those skills I have so maybe he could help point me in the right direction.

Secondly, I am going to complain for the next paragraph…..sorry but I would rather do it here where people can decide if they want to listen instead of making the poor soul I come into contact next listen. I am so sick of hearing how busy some of my friends are. I feel like every time I see some of them here, all I hear about is how they are so busy. I can definitely understand being busy, who isn’t these days, but the things they are busy with are not that difficult. If they would just stop for two seconds and think about other people, they would realize that EVERYONE is just as busy as them and although what they are doing might be challenging for them, some of use have other things we have to worry about. For example, I have a friend who bitched about her job her because she was just an admin contractor and no one appreciated her and she was much more capable of doing more. Now she has a job with Corning with a little higher of a title and can’t handle it. Or at least that is what I get from her complaining how busy she is all the time. Before she would just surf the Internet all day so I guess actually having to do work is big change for her. Just a few minutes ago, she was complaining she has to set up a poster session and it took her 5 hours to do it! And then she has to attend that for a good part of the day but will only be working 8-3 and then is going home to drink wine. I’m sorry but taping up posters and standing by a poster and eating food is not that difficult! Plus the rest of us will be working all day! I feel like I’m not working enough if I’m just here 8-5 while eating lunch at my desk! I’ve decided I’m going to try really really hard to just let this slide when I hear it. Usually, when I hear someone complaining like this, I would love to set them in their place and make them realize it could be worse but maybe this isn’t the best approach because then I’m no better then them. Instead, I’m going to try really, really hard to just keep my feelings to myself, and by myself I mean in my head or on this blog! : )

Lastly, it’s almost FRIDAY! This is going to be a fun weekend for me! Starting off with a bacholette (sp?) party tomorrow night and then a wine tour all day Sat. Get on the bus at 8 am, go to 4 wineries, lunch and then get dropped off at 6 w/ a bottle of wine for just $30! Can’t beat that! Although I will be sad that Vic won’t be there with me this year!

change within company, change company, or change career???

There are some weeks I think I have it all figured out and then others I freak out and am not sure what to do.  This is one of those freak out weeks.  I have been thinking about it and not sure if school is the right answer for me.  Here is the thing, I love spending money!  If I go to school, I will have no money...actually I will have $35,000 less money!!!  Not sure if this is the smart thing to do.  I have been looking into getting a degree in HRLR (human resource labor relations) but I want to make sure I'm doing it for the right reasons.  I hate my job....ok, there I said it.  This job is like the homework project that never ends.  For some crazy reason, I thought once you were done with school, you wouldn't have to actually use it at all.  Turns out not the case for me!  I'm doing more design work which involves calculations and too much thinking.  I would be all about it but I'm just not passionate about doing it so it makes it tough.  I don't want to get ahead in this job so I don't feel like trying.  I have been involved in recruiting, onboarding (getting people started on the right path when they first start their job) and now I'm helping with orientation.  I'm really good at this!  Not engineering!  In college, I was a TA for 4 years helping people get on track their first year and was a OTL (orientation team leader) for 3 years.  I really loved doing that more then equations and baja.  

Here are my options I've been thinking about:

1)  Switch jobs within Corning Incorporated!

I could see if maybe there is another position that would be more what I like to do maybe in HR or possibly something sales engineering where I get to travel and work with customers. 

GOOD: I like the company and the area so I would not mind continuing to live here. Plus it would look better since I wouldn't be leaving the company.  Might be able to stay vested...not sure how exactly that works.

BAD:  Not sure how easy this would be to do.  If I go into HR without a degree, I might be taking a big cut in pay.  Not sure if sales engineering exists for Corning.  Like the area but would love to be closer to family and friends.  Hate traveling so far for weddings, parties and holidays!

2) Switch companies!

I could continue in engineering but get out of doing such technical stuff and move to a different area. 

GOOD: This would save me from having to go back to school and I would still make good money.  I could move closer to friends and family.

BAD:  Not sure where I would want to move to for a good common ground between parents in UP and rest of family in Milwaukee area and middle of IL and then friends scattered mostly in lower MI, some in WI and a few in MN.  Not sure what kind of engineering job I would actually like or what company to go for. 

3) Switch careers!

I would most likely go back to school for HRLR possibly at Michigan State!

GOOD:  Location would be decided.  Would be able to try something completely new!  Closer to friends and fam.

BAD:  I would be BROKE!  Not sure I could afford all my monthly payments (car, braces, rent, car insurance, health insurance, etc) and still go to school and be able to eat!  Not totally sold that getting a degree would solve all my problems.  I would be considered an out of state resident for school since I changed my license to NYS. I wouldn't be able to do many things I love like eating good, eating out, shopping or do things with friends.

ADVICE NEEDED!  Which do you think the best option would be?  How could I still somewhat use my technical background but do something more with people but still make a good enough living to survive?  Any other suggestions for careers I should maybe look into?  I am good at planning, relating to different types of people, working in a team and keeping things on track.  Not so good at long calculations or lots and lots of writing. 

why I became an alph gam

Friday

This weekend was my big trip to the city (NYC) to meet up with the boys, my three guy friends from freshmen year who all happen to be Bet Sigs (Jeff Whaley, Jon Berg and Josh Ruedi). They wanted to go to a game at Yankee Stadium before they switch to the new stadium and asked if I wanted to join them since I live in NY. I took Friday off and woke at 3 am so that I could drive to Port Jervis and catch the 7:40 am train to NYC. I’m only 4.5 hours away from the city but driving is a nightmare and parking is even worse and super expensive so its easier to park for free at the train station and take that right in to Penn Station for $25 round trip. I got to the hostel we were staying at (Broadway Hotel & Hostel located on the west side of Manhattan) only to find Whaley and Berg on their way to the courthouse! They got tickets for drinking on the streets the night before. Ruedi didn’t get one because he was off with drug dealers and a prostitute…true story!! The hostel was pretty standard w/ 2 bunk beds and a sink in the room. There were bathrooms across the floor. Actually there were 4 in our hallway alone. This is important to note because even though there were so many bathrooms, Whaley didn’t use any of these and peed in the sink instead.

Since they had to go to the courthouse, Ruedi and I headed to Chinatown and Little Italy for lunch. We had downed a bottle of wine by the other guys met up with us and then had two more after they joined us so I was good to go by this point. After, we walked down to Wall St. which was pretty cool to see. I noticed a super sparkly store and was surprised to find Tiffany & Co. I’ve been to the one on fifth ave. which looks totally different and isn’t as fun as the sparkly one I found on wall st! We went in and Ruedi and I pretended we were bf and gf to try on engagement rings. I tried on one that was 4 carats for $48,000 and another for $115,000!!! They were crazy big and beautiful. Next we stumbled into a wine store that was doing wine tasting! Not sure we needed more but you’ll take any free alcohol in NY since it is so expensive!

The 3rd to Last Game at Yankee Stadium
After a couple shots at an Irish pub, it was time to start heading to the Yankees game. We made it there for the second half of the first inning and made the climb up to our seats. I was pretty impressed with myself because we were definitely in the nosebleed section above home plate and I didn’t freak out. I’m super afraid of heights so this is easy to do. I couldn’t believe what a large slope the seats were on. By the 3rd inning, the boys needed to go smoke a cigarette. Because of the height thing, I thought it was best to just stay in place. By the end of the 6th inning, I was starting to wonder about them since they weren’t back yet. My phone had been off since the battery was getting low but I turned it on to find 4 missed calls from them. They apparently decided they were too lazy to walk all the way down to the entrance to smoke so they tried the bathroom instead. This resulted in them getting kicked out and went to a bar instead!!!  When they finally met me outside Yankee Stadium, they were all pretty drunk and Ruedi was speaking a language that was not English and couldn't stand up straight anymore.  They had reserved a limo early in the day to take us back to our hostel, pick up Megan Laboe and then go out on the town.  It was suppose to be there at 10 pm but it was now 10:20 and there was no limo with our name on it.  They called to check up and turns out, the boys reserved it for the wrong night.  Now we were stuck trying to find a taxi with the other 40,000 fans that just got out of the game.  This was a super fun task since the boys were like little monkeys and couldn't stay together...each wanted to go pee or find cigarettes or something.  Anyways, we finally made it back to the hostel in a $50 cab ride.  Whaley really liked this driver and thought it was necessary to tip him $30!  Seriously, WTF, who does that!  Oh, forgot to mention that we stopped for cigarettes and Berg got us Boone's Farm to drink...classy!  At this point, I was pretty tired from being up since 3 am and didn't feel like dealing with the drunks for the rest of the night.  Plus Whaley spit beer out all over my stuff which really pissed me off.  Oh and I forgot to mention that Ruedi in his drunken state thought that we were going to make out for some reason and kept insisting this was going to happen.  The original plan was to drop him off at the hostel b/c he was so wasted and then continue without him for the rest of the night but he kept insisting he wasn't drunk and wanted to go.  We even tried pretending we were all going to sleep but that didn't work.  I even went to the extreme of laying by him so he thought we were going make out or whatever even though that would never happen!  The boys ended up going out without me since I was in such a pissy mood and I just went to bed around midnight.  Around 4 am they came back without Ruedi!  Apparently he went off again with some crazy people and he just disappeared.  They were freaking out about this!  They kept trying to call his cell phone and got no answer and were worried he was in the gutter somewhere.  I told them that there was absolutely nothing they could do about it because it wasn't like they were going to be able to go searching for him at 4 am.  At 7 am, Ruedi came crawling back in.  I got up around 8 and noticed someone had once again peed in the sink.  This was Whaley.  Also, someone had peed in my water bottle and from what I could tell a red bull can and on the floor as well.  Turns out this was Ruedi.  Let me remind you that there are 4 frickin bathrooms right across the hall from our room!  I was grossed out and got ready to go shopping by myself!  I did have to laugh though because Whaley's alarm kept going off on his phone but he didn't really hear it even though he was sleeping with it.  Then he just held it while he was sleeping like a baby at one point!

Saturday

I met Megan Laboe for some shopping and introduced her to Loehmann's!  It is a really awesome discount designer store (way way better then TJMax).  After, we went down to Chinatown for some Vietnamese food which was so yummy.  I was excited I actually remembered how to get back to the place my Vietnamese friend had took me last time we were in NYC.  Then we were going to meet the boys in Battery Park but they got confused and were actually at 84th pier which was way far away.  I took Megan to Century 21, another discount designer store located by Ground Zero.  After, we walked around and were just taking everything in.  We found St. Paul's church which the place a lot of people went when 9/11 was taking place.  It is quite amazing because there was debris all over when it happened and the 100 year old tree in front of the church was taken out by 9/11 but not a single window was broken at that time!  They had a lot of memorials in the church and a feeling of sadness just overwhelms you as you go through.  We worked our way up to meet the boys in Chinatown and ended up having to wait a good amount of time for them which I was not pleased about.  Then, we went back to Little Italy to walk through the 81st Annual Feast of San Gennaro which had venders lining the streets for about 10 blocks with steak sandwiches, drinks, italian desserts and anything fried you can think of!  We stopped off to get some gelato at a dessert restaurant before continuing to walk through the festival. Then after stopping back at the hostel, we found a cute little Cuban restaurant for dinner.  We waited about 1 hour to be seated but it was worth it!  Megan and I shared a pitcher of Sangria which was so yummy and drank that down while listening to the music and waiting for our food.  I had the vegetable paella!  YUM!  After a drink and a shot or two at Bubba Gump Shrimp in Times Square, I was good to go home!  Plus the guys promised me they would get me a Steak Sandwich from the corner store that they swore was the best steak sandwich they ever had.  I have to admit, it was pretty darn good! 

Sunday

We all woke up fairly early and got our stuff packed up.  They were going to go see lots of things I had already done so I met Megan for some more shopping/eating.  We went to Chelsea Market which is a really cute market on the first floor of the building that is home to the Food Network!  I love that channel so I was pumped to be there!  Then we walked over to a ice cream/sorbet place I read up on that was suppose to have amazing ice cream.  They even had a corn flavored ice cream that was pretty darn good.  Kind of tasted like creamed corn.  I got the chocolate and raspberry sorbet.  After more walking, I went back to get my stuff and it was off to the train station to head home!  I didn't get home until 12:30 am so today was pretty brutal at work!  Overall this was a pretty good weekend but I don't think I would ever stay with the guys again!  They were my friends way back from freshmen year and this trip definitely brought back feelings from back then.  It is fun to hang out with them every once in awhile but they are dirty, nasty boys...which is why I really appreciate my alph gam girls! 

sunny sunday

     Today I woke up and it was beautiful out!  I decided I need to start running again.  I used up all my excuses and had no choice but to bite the bullet and just do it.  I love running however whenever I go away for a long weekend, I seem to forget this when I get back.  Ever since Houghton, this has been the case.  Last week, I was down in KY a few days for work so that was my excuse then!  Actually, I could've ran in the fitness room but I got to eat on Cornings expense so my belly was too full to run every night after dinner.  **side note - the Hampton Inn sucks a$$!!  They did not have Bravo OR abc so I missed not only project runway but also 90210 on wednesday!  Not fair!**  Anyways, I went running and after about 10 minutes, I realized it was really frickin hot out and was sweating like mad but I just kept on going.  

     Next, I headed to a local coffee shop to study for the GRE.  I really, really hate the verbal section!  I can do the math and actually enjoy the math section but the verbal section makes me want to tear out my hair!  I just do not have a strong vocabulary and it is really going to hurt me on this test.  Please do not tell me suggestions how to study because believe me, my roommate (the one with the masters in english AND lit) covered this by telling me the best way to study for this.  Listening to this also makes me want to tear out my hair. 

     Then I made up my menu for the week and went to Wegmans, the most glorious grocery store ever!  I actually enjoy going because its fun to shop there.  I came home and made a Greek turkey burger w/ some extra feta and olives on top along with some sweet potato french fries.  Then I made some sun dried tomato hummus for a wrap I'm going to take in my lunch tomorrow!  I'm actually looking forward to lunchtime tomorrow now!

     Now it is just time to review my sweet vocab flash cards I made today and I'm sure that will put me right to sleep!

Keep it or return it!

I got this really cute trench coat the other day when out with my friends shopping!  I really like it but I am trying to only spend money on things I'm truly going to use.  I've realized that I buy too many things and waste my money and my closet space.  Anyways, I'm trying to justify keeping it but I need some other opinions.  It looks super cute on but not sure when I can actually wear it.  It is thinner so it isn't like I can wear it anytime besides a few months in the fall and maybe in the spring.  Also, my friends think it would be great for work but as an engineer, its not really something you wear to work.  Sometimes I have to leave work to go to machine shops or other places like that so it isn't really practical.  However, if I would go back to school for HR, this would definitely work!  Anyways,  I need some opinions so let me know!  Keep it or take it back!  

(it is from target for $40 so it isn't super expensive but I'm still trying to cut down on my spending!)

one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!

I always see those t-shirts down in Mexico and think how funny they are.  Well, I think I truly understand the t-shirt now.  As I mentioned in my previous blog, last night I had four margaritas before going out for the night to the bars.  Not my best idea!  I definitely had a martini and another drink with the margaritas!  Usually if I have two martinis for the night, I'm good to go so you can just imagine my state last night.  Anyways, I think I went to "bed" around 1:15 last night and then woke up at 4 am still in my clothes with the lights on and such.  This is usually my indicator that I've had too much to drink if I fall asleep with the lights on.  It has been known to happen every once in awhile!  So after I found myself with clothes, contacts, jewerly still on, I semi prepared myself for bed.   A little bit later there I was hugging the toilet....not fun!  Anyways, I finally got back to bed and then slept till 1 pm!!!  This is so crazy for me because usually I can't sleep later then 9 am!  I'm now up and feeling fine but half my day is gone and in less then six hours, I'm expected at a surprise birthday party where more drinking is to occur!  I think I'm getting too old for this!

drunkin rant

OK....

So its been awhile since I've wrote but honestly, I just haven't felt like it.  I've had plenty of time but I went down to KY for work this week and was just so exhausted when I came home.  Mor e on this when I'm sober.  Anyways, tonight, one of my roommates had a Lia Sophia party at our house which included margaritas.....YUM.  I had four I think!  Then we went out in Corning (three blocks away).  Lots of my friends also went out but there wasn't much going on tonight.  We went to one bar and this guy came up and pulled me to dance.  He was neither cute or sober and I tried to decline but my friend Tolu insisted.  Then, as I was dancing with him (by the way, no one else at the bar was really dancing) no one came and saved me!!!!!  If I was in Houghton with my girls, someone would eventually save me!  Here, no one did!  Thats no good! 

Anyways, it was sad b/c the bar was way lame O and we even left before it closes at 1:00 which is pretty lame.  

Ok....alll for now....so tired/drunk/ sleepy.

NIGHT

2300 Miles and 5 Days of Therapy

Day 1: Thursday

I began my trip to Houghton!  I left right after work and drove from Corning to Farmington Hills, MI.  Sarah and Jess let me crash at their place since we decided we were going to leave at 5 am Fri morning.  It was a good drive spending half the time catching up with friends on the phone and the other half listening to my new favorite book, Eat, Pray, Love.  (I seriously love this book and think its better on audio because its the author telling her story.)  

Day 2: Friday

Woke up at 4:30 am after falling asleep around 12:30 am!  We (Sarah, Stacey, Jess, Amanda and I) all piled into Sarah's G6 to make the 9 hour journey up to Tech.  Our plan was to get there in time to shower for double bubble.   It was a good trip.  We were all so excited that none of us slept and just talked the whole way.  I knew I was back in MI when we saw a guy driving a car with his kid in the back seat and a deer head in the front seat.   Seriously, only in Northern MI will you find that shit.  It was just so nice to be able to chat with the girls and catch up.  It just made me realize that I really don't have anyone here in Corning that I feel comfortable talking to stuff that I can talk to alph gams about.  

We got in right at 3 pm thanks to Sarah not letting us stop anywhere! : )  I showered as fast as I could and got to the DT!  It was so nice out and there were three tables full of alph gams!  We owned the deck!  After many drinks, we decided to head to Little Lindsey's 20th b-day party.  There weren't many people there besides alph gams and the guys who lived in the house where the party was at but we made the party.  Also, Jess had brought her brother and a friend who was totally cute.  My plan for the weekend was to find someone to make out with.  I set limits as to what age b/c I didn't want to end up with someone WAY too young for me.  He was 22 and a 4th year (I'm still 23 until midnight tonight) so I thought this was definitely ok for me.  I did the standard name, age and major question plus he was Jess's friend and she said he was cool.  I don't really know how to talk to or flirt with guys so one of the girls literally had to drag me across the floor to go talk to him.  This was after I hid out in the bathroom for 5 min.  I just get really nervous.  Jess broke the ice for us and told him I wanted someone to make out with and thought he was hot so that helped.  Plus, Jess was wasted and started puking so we both were helping her out and got her home safe.  After, he walked me home and totally made out in the alph gam parking lot.  It was good times!  : ) I think if she hadn't started puking, we would not have made out!  

There were a ton of people in the alph gam living room, some passed out on the couch and some up chatting.  By the time we ordered a pizza and got done chatting it up, it was 3:30 am and I was exhausted.  I crawled into Little Lindsey's bed down in the basement (she was one of the ones passed out on the couch).   Then at 6 am, she crawled in bed with me!  I was too tired to move so after a little heart to heart, we both just passed out!

Day 3: Saturday

It was beautiful out!  I got up and went running down by the portage.  I was totally sucking wind for drinking so much the night before and not getting any sleep.  After, we headed to Hancock beach which was way fun.  By 4 pm we were back at the DT again.  After a drink there, we headed to the Ambo for pizza and fishbowls.  Boy did I miss that place!  Then back to the DT again after that!  By this time there were so many people there including the boy I made out with the night before!  We all walked down to the Dog which was pretty packed.  By 12ish I was tired and had the cute boy walk me back.  We might of made out for a good hour in the alph gam kitchen. ; )  Then it was time for him to leave because I told myself I could make out and that's it!  

Day 4: Sunday

Not a good morning!  Way hung over but I managed to get my butt up for some breakfast at Suomi!  I was soooo excited because that was on my list of places and things I wanted to do while back in Houghton.  I remember when Jeff and I would go there for breakfast and order a whole table of food for about $15, eat it all and then have to take a nap!  It was yummy.  

After, we found out Sarah was going to have to leave for her aunts funeral.  She found out the day before that she passed away and Sarah needed to get down to South Carolina that day.  We got her a flight out of Marquette airport so I volunteered to drive with her there and then bring her car back.  It worked out well because I got to see my parents!  Their house is only 40 min from the Marquette airport so we met for a few min afterwards.  It was nice to see them but kind of awkward since I was really hungover and it was super hot out.  Then, I drove back to Houghton and got ready for another night out!  Again, we started out at the DT!  I forgot to mention before that I got carded EVERYWHERE this weekend because of my sweet braces!  I never used to get carded that much before them.  On our way to Phi Kaps, we stopped at the Dog for a pickled egg b/c I didn't get one the night before and you have to have one while your in Houghton!  It was soooo yummy!  There were mostly just alph gams, phi kaps and bet sigs at phi kaps but it was still fun.  It was super warm in the basement and I was still hurting from the night before so I didn't have anything to drink.  I could only take so much of the frat party before a few of us left.  It was only 12:30 and since most of us didn't really eat dinner, I decided we should head to Econo for some food.  Luckily, I only had one drink at the DT many hours before so I could drive us!  I decided to go for as much junk food as I could while still in Houghton since I refuse to let myself buy that crap when I'm at home.  I got bagel bites and easy mac cheese!!  Both were delicious but made me very sick the next day since my tummy doesn't handle that crap anymore! 

Day 5: Monday

Time to leave....booo!  Jess, Stacey, Amanda and I got in the car and headed back to Farmington Hills.  It was a fun but long ride back.  We stopped many more times then on the way so it took a lot longer but it was fun chatting about the weekend!  Amanda and I both had found someone to make out with so the trip was successful for us!  We all had a great time though.  I think we all got to let out a lot of things that were going through our heads so it was really nice to talk and listen.  I decided to crash at Jess and Sarah's again so I didn't have to do 17 hours in the car all in one shot. Plus I wanted to stop at IKEA on the way back to NY!  : )

too many cooks in the kitchen

This morning I was all excited because I was going to make blueberry pancakes!  I got these amazing blueberries from a farmers market up in Ithaca and pancakes just sounded so yummy!  So I got up and went down to the kitchen to start cooking.  Well then my housemates decided to come down and hang out in the kitchen so we could all chat (we do this a lot).  This was cool and everything for awhile and then it was just like they were watching my every move.  I'd like to note how they were commenting on how I'm always baking and stuff and how they both hate baking.  Anyways, I started cooking up my pancakes and then one of the girls decides to tell me that my pancakes look a little undercooked and I might want to leave them on there longer to get a darker brown!  Excuse me....I thought I was cooking and making them for me to eat!!!  This was not the first time I've ever made pancakes and she knew that.  I think I'm intelligent enough figure out if I want them more brown, they require more heat!  I don't think that fact is really rocket science.  (By the way, this is the same roommate that thinks she is so fantastic at everything when really, she can be quite lazy.)  Maybe it is just me but usually I don't tell someone else how to cook unless they ask me or I'm cooking WITH them otherwise it is just plan rude I think.

Anyways, my pancakes were yummy and my stomach is happy now!  My grandma always overcooked her pancakes to the point where they were crispy therefore I like mine just slightly brown which is exactly how they came out! : )

Not alone anymore!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE mr. mac!  Seriously!  My mac book is way fun!  I just got done talking on ichat to Vic and it is so nice to just have a familiar face to talk to.  It is one thing to talk on the phone but getting to see someones facial expressions too....WAY better!   Anyone doing long distance with your hunny, this is the way to go.  Well it might not solve everything but it certainly can't hurt.  I love being a goofball w/ the camera and this just takes it to the next level!  Plus everything on the mac just is more fun!  Especially the photobooth!  Way fun!

ps  Might of had a glass or two of wine so excitement level is up! : )

pss Tomorrow is FRIDAY and I'm super excited I can sleep in slightly before I'm stuck in labview training for half the day!  I'm still proud of myself for pushing off having to go to labview training for this long!  They wanted me to go to it back in Dec but I keep saying I'm too busy since I really don't like labview.  Anyways, now I have to go but at least I get a free lunch out of it.

psss  I get to go to Houghton next week and see my GIRLS!!  SO frickin excited!  

emptying my head

Ho-town Here I Come!

After my plans to go to KY for work next week changed five times, no lie, it was decided that we're going to go the second week in Sept now.  Meaning I get to go to Houghton!  Soooo excited! Not a big fan of the 16 hour drive each way but getting to see my girls, fishbowls at the ambo and the dogs pickled eggs so make it worth it!  I'm driving to Detroit to meet up with a bunch of peeps so at least I don't have to drive by myself from Detroit to Houghton.  If everything goes as planned, I should be there for Double Bubble on fri and then am planning for some fishbowls and pizza at the ambo on sat night!

Roommate

I'm going to use this time to rant about my housemate.  She's very nice and I like her a lot but every once in awhile people get under your skin.  Well today she got under my skin....actually, it has been all week.  So she has been complaining how she has been working so much all week and staying late until six or seven and working on the weekends.  Then today it finally hit me!  When I'm leaving for work around 7:45ish, she is still in her pajamas!  She doesn't go in to work until 9 or 9:30!  There is nothing wrong with this but if your going to go in late and then work late, you can't say that your working lots of overtime! Thats like complaining when you have to work until 5 all the time when it is a 8-5 job!  She just always makes it seem like she works so hard and is so smart and everything.  I give her credit because she has two Masters degrees.  I think one in English and one in Literature and a really great vocab!   She is 30 and I'm 23 (almost 24!) so we're at totally different stages in our life.  I think some of this is coming from the fact that most people I work with are all older and have Masters or PhD's and I feel about about like I can't compete with that and just feel like everyone is better at everything.  I think sometimes I just need to remember that I'm smart and hardworking and be confident with what I've got.  Not going to lie, it is tough to be confident with these darn braces.  I got them when I had a bf and expected to be with him the whole time I had braces.  OK...done with rant...I feel better now!

WTF

Tonight on my run, I noticed that in the backyard of this house, there was a tent with a TV, recliner and even a mini frig!!  Seriously, there was some lady just chilling in there!  I understand that it is warm in the summer and not everyone can afford air conditioning but you can't tell me a mini frig and running a cable out to a tent in the backyard is easier or cheaper then just getting a air conditioner.  In any event, it was really special!

wine and cheese please!

One of the things I absolutely love about this area (Corning, NY) is all the wineries and love of wine everyone has. (Side note: There are over 100 wineries in the area so if anyone wants to come visit for a fun weekend, you are always more then welcome to crash at my place!)  Anyways, our local liquor/wine shop does these "seminars" every now and again!  Tonight was you guessed it, Wine and Cheese!  They are always free and located right in the store!  I went to a Sake Seminar before which was really interesting!  So I signed myself up weeks ago even though I thought I might be going solo and I'm so glad I went!  I had some friends who tried to sign up but apparently there was even a waiting list of about 30 ppl!  We got to try 10 different wine/cheese combos and they were all so good!  Well at least the cheese, there were some pretty dry reds that weren't my fav but I didn't let them go to waste.  I sat next to the only other young people there and they turned out to be pretty entertaining.  Plus I decided that wine and cheese was definitely suitable for dinner since it covers at least two food groups, fruit and dairy! 

Days w/o calling Drew:  12 days

Days w/o stalking his profile on facebook:  zero  : (

**I decided maybe if I write it on here it will encourage to just forget about him otherwise I'll have to admit to all of you what a stalker I am....you know you've done it too!**

mr. mac

I got my new macbook and ipod touch in the mail today and I'm super excited!!  I decided since this is my new replacement for a bf, I shall call him Mr. Mac!  

I had my old desktop for 6 years so I feel like I deserve something a little nicer.  Plus I'm just super happy not to have to lug my HUGE laptop from work home anymore.  Although I do appreciate the huge screen of my Dell for work, the battery weighs almost as much as the computer itself.  

Confession:

I snuck into facebook to check Drew's profile! At least I almost lasted a week!  It was tough because I gave my password to my roommate but then someone else sent me a msg which I was notified through email about.  The plan was going to be that my roommate just would let me onto facebook to check the msg and then take over the password again.  However, my roomies aunt passed away this weekend and I definitely didn't want to bother her so I just reset it myself!  In any event, I did it but now I'm not going to check it for two weeks!

Decisions, Decisions

So here is my dilemma...

I'm finally getting to go down to one of our plants in KY that makes LCD screens the last week in Aug. I'm totally pumped because I finally get to install the equipment I had designed over a year ago. Plus, I think it will be really helpful to actually get some experience down in the plant and will help me understand things much better. Here is the bummer though, I have to leave Sun. night to go down there and won't get back until Fri. at 3 (Friday before labor day weekend). Plus, it will just be me and my supervisor for the WHOLE week and it will be that time of the month so I should be a ton of fun to be around! Here is where the real problem comes in. A bunch of people are heading up to Tech from the Detroit area and although its such a long ways to drive myself, it would totally be do-able if I drove to Detroit and then got a ride up to Tech with everyone else! They are all leaving on Fri. morning around 5 am and since my flight won't be coming back until 3 pm that just won't work. HOWEVER, there are some issues at the plant and our trip might be postponed until the following week. Which means I could totally take Friday off and head to Detroit Thursday night if it really does get postponed. I did tell myself that I would cut back on traveling since I was getting the mac book though which is why I'm really unsure if I should go. Plus, Monday we would be coming back from Tech and probably wouldn't leave that early which would mean I wouldn't be getting back to Corning until way early in the am on Tuesday. Usually these trips take me awhile to recover from too so I would be a deadbeat most of the week. I really, really want to go to Ho-town though b/c it would be so much fun and so great to see everyone! I'm trying not to get my hopes up that the trip will be postponed at all because until it really is, I don't even have the option to go to Ho-town anyways!

By the way, if it is postponed, I'm totally going to be stuck down in KY in a dry county with my supervisor on my birthday! Way not fun! But getting to be at Tech the weekend before would make it that much better!

What should I do if I get the option???

Vacation from Facebook

Hurray! New mac book and itouch are both in the mail! I'm so excited! :)

Also, I decided I can not be trusted on facebook! I totally am that girl and stalk Drew's profile. This is not the girl I want to be so I handed over my account to my roommates for the month! I thought it would be best if I had them change my password so I can't go on facebook and check his profile to see who he is talking to, who is talking to him and whats new in his life. Why should what he is doing matter to me? No matter what, it isn't going to change the fact that we broke up and won't make us get back together and I waste so much time doing that!

Now instead of spending way too much time talking on the phone/arguing with him/stalking his facebook, I have much more time to do the important things like give myself a pedicure, get rid of junk I don't need, read and get soooo much more sleep! (I think that last one, sleep, is the key to me being happier the last week!)

No More BF = Hello New Computer!

Mac vs. PC

This is my struggle for the week. I decided now that I will not be wasting lots of gas money going to MI to see Drew or a b-day or x-mas present for him, I have some free cash and its time I got myself a new laptop! I've had my old Dell Desktop since 2002. It has had many transformations from Tech and who knows what exactly is on there now. All I know is it is frickin slow and too slow for wireless (which my apartment has along w/ the rest of the world now). So lately I've just been using my laptop from work when I need to but really need to get something for myself. After checking out Best Buy and Circuit City today, I'm not convinced that windows is the way to go. Although a few hundred cheaper, they seem exactly that, CHEAPER! I want something low maintance b/c if this is going to replace having a bf, I don't want anything I need to fix or train. : ) Plus right now, Apple has a discount for students and along with the discount on mac's, you get a free ipod nano or touch! My brother is a student still so that definitely counts!

Here is what I was thinking for the Mac:
13-inch: White
2.1GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
2GB memory
120GB hard drive1
Combo drive

Or for $200 more I could upgrade to:
13-inch: White
2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
2GB memory
160GB hard drive1
Double-layer SuperDrive

Any suggestions??

New and Improved!

Friday Night = way fun
I had people over to grill out and have a few drinks before going out. It turned out to be a random mix of people but way fun! Someone I know just got dumped by her fiance a month ago. They dated for seven years and he just broke it off! I thought I was going through a little rough patch but man, that would really be rough.

Saturday
Today was a rough morning! I can't party like I used to at all! For some reason I made a 9 am hair appointment which was not fun to get up for. Plus I felt bad because I was in too rough of shape to wash my hair first and someone spilled beer on me last night so it probably smelled bad too!Luckily, I tried a new stylist after my horrible cut last time. (Bangs also go behind my ears again! YAY!) The new stylist did a great job and I feel so much better now! I made this appointment awhile ago and it came at the perfect time since I feel like a need a fresh new look for the new and improved me! Plus it was just way too dark for summer so the highlights definitely helped to lighten it up and make it more fun.

New and Improved Me
So I was suppose to go to a bridal shower today but the new and improved me decided last minute not to go. It is for someone I met here in Corning. She was fun at first and used to go out but for the last 8 months, I really haven't seen her! I emailed her two weeks ago to see if she could spare 5 mins to help me use Quicken and she hasn't emailed me back yet. I saw her in the cafe a week ago and she said she was really busy but she was having lunch with another friend of mine so obviously she wasn't too busy for that. Also, anytime I've had something going on, she always uses excuses to get out of it. The new and improved me decided that it is time I stop being a polite, thoughtful person to people who don't really care about me! Why should I spend 1.5 hours driving each way to a bridal shower for someone who doesn't have 5 mins for me. (By the way her wedding isn't until Oct. so its not like she is swamped with that stuff quite yet.) Instead, I spend the afternoon laying out in the sun and finish my book! I also applied this new way of thinking to a birthday party I got invited to tonight. I went to this persons party last year and even brought a bottle of wine for her. For my birthday, I didn't even get a "Happy Birthday" from her. She is one of those people who always says we should get together for lunch but never makes it happen. So again, why would I take time out of my schedule to be there for her when she doesn't make any time for me! Instead, I made a really yummy dinner for myself and cleaned out some more of my closet!

Good things today:

• Finished "It's Called a Break Up Beacause It's Broken" - such a good book
• Tried out two new recipes - both yummy, stay tuned for recipes
• Got some sun! : )

5 miles and a box of shoes...

Yesterday I bought the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken". So far, its great! It is like they know exactly what I'm thinking! It is by the same authors of "He's Just Not That Into You". This came right from the book:

"It's past two in the morning. You're on your third glass of wine. You're wearing his sweater because it smells like him..."

So this was exactly me the other night and that's why I decided I need to read this!

I started reading it last night and got to chapter two today. It is all about not calling him. Well I was planning on calling him before I even started reading chapter two because for some reason today at work I was thinking that maybe if I just moved there now, things could work out. I wanted to run this idea past him to see what he thought hoping that he would be all excited and I would apply for jobs, quit mine once I got a different one and move there. Well, I got to reading the book and after 6 pages of it saying not to call him and to try calling other people first, I thought I would listen and do that. I seriously tried about 7 people, one including my dad, and everyone must be busy tonight because NO ONE answered! **SIDE NOTE: Vickie totally made my day today though and sent me flowers!!! Seriously, I think I would've needed two more boxes of tissues if I hadn't gotten those flowers today! Thanks again Vickie!!!** So that left me to calling Drew. This actually turned out to be good for me though. Now I have no doubt in my mind that Drew is over me or just about. I think he actually was done with this relationship awhile ago and I didn't realize it. Again, I want to state that this is from both of us, I'm not just blaming him, but I seriously think he just didn't want to end things and waited it out until I was ready to end it.

Anyways, since my last blog was WAY too long, I'll keep this one shorter, still gonna be long though. Since I realized that the only person who is going to be there for me is ME, I am going to use this blog to put my accomplishments for the day or at least things that I did I feel proud of. Also, I realized I need to start trusting my judgement for the same reason. I will not have someone there for me all the time. For this reason, my goal is to try not to ask others what I should wear, I should just wear what I think looks good and what I should wear. Anyways, here are my accomplishments for the day:

• Ran 5 miles!!
• Got rid of 1 box out of 3 boxes of shoes
• Canceled my relationship on facebook (huge step!)

And for the big one....

• Changed the toilet paper right away!!!

Now what....

This past week, things finally ended between Drew and me. I have so many mixed feelings I don’t know what to do with them. I’ve decided I definitely need to write more on here for one thing and maybe that will help sort things out. This is going to be a long one but I got a lot on my mind!

Drew was my person and now I don’t have that anymore…. He was the person I talked to about my day, good or bad. He was the one who helped me and answered all my questions. He was the one who made me look forward to the future and getting to see each other. He was the one who loved to do a lot of the same things I did. He was the one who enjoyed the same kinds of food as me. He was the one who just got me and understood me like no one has before. He was the one I thought I would spend the rest of my life with! He was also the one who brought out emotions in my I never knew I had (not good ones either). He was the one I was willing to change my life for which I thought I never would do for a guy.

Everything changed when he decided he wanted to become a volunteer firefighter a few months ago. I was jealous of this and him wanting to spend so much time doing this instead of planning to spend time with me. He just got a job at Stryker Medical as a Mechanical Engineer and now he is going to be on call every third day including weekends! I just don’t see how there is enough time for me with everything he is doing. Because I felt like this, I got bitchy and mean and jealous without even realizing I was doing this. This pushed him away and made him less willing to make me a priority. Oh and by the way we live 8.5 hours apart which makes things that much tougher.

The few weekends we do get to see each other, we spend most of the time fighting over the future and anything else. Finally this week, enough was enough on both our parts. He actually wanted to end it a few weeks ago but I was convinced we could make it work and try and start over. Well that didn’t work. Luckily, Vickie helped me to realize I’m not happy right now. She has also been there for me weekly when I call her crying and upset at another thing with my relationship. I’m not going to say I’m not an emotional person, but seriously, I’ve never been like this before. And she helped me to realize that! : )

Drew and I mutually decided that it isn’t working at this time in our lives due to timing and distance but it still hurts so much. How can the right guy be out there for you and want to be with you and it just isn’t possible to be with each other?? It just isn’t fair. I’ve been at Corning a year now so technically my contract is up and if I left, I wouldn’t have to pay my relocation back. Sure I would love to just quit my job and move there to be with him but that just doesn’t seem smart to me and has way too much risk. I really do need to stay to get more experience and pay off some debt. Braces, student loans and a car do not pay for themselves. I was planning on moving back to MI next year to go back to school, be with Drew and closer to family and friends. I love this area in NY but taxes suck, laws suck and I miss my friends and fam. I still want to move back to MI next year to pursue a Masters in HR. It just seemed so much easier when I had someone who was going to be there and help me and support me and now I don’t.

So now what….

I’m suck here at my job which isn’t horrible but it isn’t what I want to be doing! Designing machines all day every day just isn’t for me. I’d need to stay here about another year because I won’t be able to start school until the Fall and that’s if I get into MSU. I have friends my they aren’t real friends here. The other night when I was really upset about the breakup, they just figured I needed some time by myself. If I was in Houghton and at the alph gam house, it wouldn’t have mattered who was there, I’m sure they would’ve taken me out either to the bar, DQ or at least taco bell! Someone would’ve been there for me! Now I just don’t know what to look forward to. I know I will get there eventually but it is just hard right now to know that it will be ok. I can fill my life up and be busy but will I really be happy? I just don’t know.

Plus I don’t want to even start thinking about dating! I hate that part where you have to go through the awkward conversation and try and get to know each other. And there is having to deal with things if they don’t work out or having them not calling you. Just too much work and not fun. Drew was the person I went to with all my dating questions before we started going out! Now who is going to give me advice?

I know this is long but I just have so much running through my head right now and just feel so hurt and sad and confused. If it doesn’t work with the person who I thought was so right for me, how will it work with anyone else? And is there anyone else out there that I will love as much?

Work it

This is a really cool website I just have to share.

www.mapmyfitness.com

This allows you to track where you run/bike/walk/whatever! You can make different routes and it even shows the elevation and distance and everything. It is free to become a member and when you do, you can even see other people’s routes in your area. Corning, where I live is small but there are still a ton of different routes and people explain if they are easy or hard or good for walking or jogging. This is great because if I get sick of my normal routine, I can challenge myself to try another one nearby. I know you can get something now to wear on your shoe to see where you went but this somewhat does the same thing and it’s totally free!

All The Small Things

new batteries in electric toothbrush =

AMAZING!!

Seriously, I don't know why I haven't taken the time to change them sooner. My teeth feel way cleaner and its makes brushing my teeth a hundred times better....especially since I have braces! I realize I do this with little things quite often. All it takes is 30 seconds to improve my life but I somehow think I don't have the time for that! Same thing goes with the toilet paper roll. I've been known to leave it off the toilet paper holder for about 1/4-1/2 of the roll. There have been plenty of times I'm just sitting there not doing much of anything else that I could have changed it but I don't!

Goal for August: Try not to slack off on the little things!

yay!

Today was a great day! I was very productive at work all day (Mondays usually are). After working a little late, I decided to go for my usual run. For some reason I was feeling super motivated (could've been that pint of Ben and Jerry's Frozen Yogurt I downed this weekend) but I decided to keep running. I ended up running 5 miles OUTSIDE! Usually I stick to the treadmill because it is usually either too hot, too dark or too scary to run outside but I did it this time! I was really excited and exhausted when I got home. After, I finally was able to extract files and pictures off my old desktop to put on my external hard drive. This seems like a simple task but seriously it has taken me a few weeks now since my old computer is slowly dying on me and takes forever. Not sure why it magically worked today but for whatever the reason, I'll accept it! Also, my best friend from high school, Kate, decided she is going to apply for a job out here in Corning, NY!! If it is alright with my other roomies/landlord, I told her it is fine with me to move into my upstairs apartment and share with me! This would be really fun because I think it would be good for both of us. Possibly a little crowded but something I'm willing to try. Unfortunately the night ended with me having to do more work. My supervisor told me today that he would like some concept modeled in Solidworks for his presentation this week which he thought was on Wednesday. Turns out it is at 11 am tomorrow so I had to work like mad to get it done tonight. I totally forgot one of the papers I needed with all the info so looks like I'll be heading in early tomorrow morning! Oh well...the earlier I go in, the earlier I get to leave, right? Anyways, it was a good day! Definitely didn't get everything on my to do list done but I'm learning that is OK.

On a side note, tonight I noticed that even when I was running I was planning! I seriously think I'm nuts! I decided that there can be no planning while running and it purely needs to be time for me! To distract myself from planning I decided that I should dance a little while I run. I think this both provides amusement for others who might see me running and makes me happy! :)

How to grab more time for you..

Found this on CNN today during lunch (I try to use at least a little part of my lunch break to check the news to escape from my world and see what is going on in the rest of the world.) Anyways, this is a great article from one of my favorite magazines, Real Simple. This pretty much answers a lot of questions from my last blog! : )

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/07/24/rs.time.for.yourself/index.html#

enjoy!

slowing down...

I've come to the conclusion that I need to slow down. I mean slow down with everything in my life. I recently went to a session here at Corning Inc. called Strengthsfinder. It is based on a book and it is something I think everyone needs to do! Anyways, from this, I was able to take a quiz that tells me my top five strengths out of 34 themes that were identified over 30 years of research. My top "strength" is Displine!! This scared me at first! When I hear displine I think back to when teachers used to be able to hit kids with ruler when they were being bad in school! That is not something I want to be like. Then I read the description in the book on what it means and here is what I got.

"Your world needs to be predictable. It needs to be ordered and planned. So you instinctively impose structure on your world. You set up routines. You focus on timelines and deadlines. "

Ok so this pretty much sums up my life and is me to a tee. I can except that I am a planner and this is what I do best but sometimes it is really hard for other people to get that...especially the bf. I understand that sometimes it might feel like I'm suffocating others with my planning! I've decided that since this is one of my top strengths, I need to use it but not abuse it! I need to slow down! I am so busy planning all of the time I don't think I really take the time to enjoy life and what is going on in my life at that time. I really, really want to try and do this but I need some help understanding how. These are some of the questions that come to my mind.

How do people get things done if they don't plan?

Take this weekend for example. This is one of the first free weekends in awhile that I don't have a lot of things on my schedule. However, my to do list is constantly expanding. I look at it as though I have two options. A) I can take the weekend to relax and not worry about anything and then have to bust my butt all next week to get things done or B) I can bust my butt this weekend with hopes of relaxing later but knowing that later there will always be more to do! So which is the better way to do it? I really need to find a middle between being a crazy planner and always on the go go go and someone who just doesn't worry but doesn't always get things done.

If I don't plan something or worry about it, who will?

I feel like sometimes I have to be the one to take charge if I want to get anything done. I feel exactly like Holly in P.S. I Love You in the beginning of the movie where she is complaining how she would much rather be the funny irish guy instead of the one always worrying and planning! (I just watched that movie last night with a bottle of wine.....SO GOOD!)

I really, really want to work on slowing down and enjoying the life I'm in now instead of always looking to the future. Now if only I could figure out how to do that!

the Massive Manhole

I think I need to start apply to the Discovery Channel show "Dirty Jobs" to get them to come to my job. The project I am working on requires us to honk this 150 db, 220 Hz horn at parts that are sitting in a frame I made. Apparently this is a crazy loud horn that could shake your insides! It is even louder then the horn they use in my city to wake us all up at 6:45 am, 7 am, 7:45 am and 8:00 am. Anyways, we've been searching for weeks for a place we can run this test and today we found one! I got to take a little trunk golf cart thing to go check it out which definitely made for a fun field trip. So the hole is literally a huge 35" manhole that goes to a 8'x8'x8' bunker at the bottom of the hill our of facility! The bunker is just made of concrete and has about 1-2" of water on the bottom and is home to a few rats and bullfrogs! And this is where we will honk our horn! We are scheduled to run the test next Wednesday and thats when I'm suppose to be up in Buffalo, NY. I don't know if this is a blessing or not cool since I kind of wanted to be there to see what exactly this horn can do. So that is what the massive manhole is all about! Hopefully no animals will be hurt in the process but I do have to say I hope they are gone by the time I go down in there! I forgot to mention that for safety reasons, two people are required to stand outside the manhole while one person is down in there just in case something happens! NICE!

And the late nights begin... : )

Hopefully every night won't be so late but earlier today, Vickie suggested I try blogging because apparently all the cool kids do it these days! I was just going to check it out and here I am a few hours later still glued to the couch with my laptop. How does it suck you in for so long?? You would think I would have at least had to pee by now! Maybe I just need to drink more water!

Anyways, I thought I should at least give this a try. This could very well end up like every other journal I started to write where I try it out for about a week or so until the newness (is this even a real word) of it wears off.

Also, I might as well be up front and state that there will be NUMEROUS words spelled wrong and grammer that would make any english teacher cringe. I think this is especially allowed right now since I'm approaching early into the AM. On that note, I'm off to bed!